Tuesday, 1 December 2015

KODAK MOMENTS #33



Sure will I just jump on stage there in front of a big crowd of people and sing a song, beside some of the most talented people that Belfast plays host to? Will I fuck.

Well, actually I did, but it was terrifying. Every sign pointed to no. I hadn't slept, I had a cold, and tonsillitis and was suffering from hangover anxiety and sporting a spiffing headache. But I did it anyway. I didn't enjoy the limelight all too much and I doubt I will be rushing to the microphone again; but I did it!

Fear (or false evidence appearing real), is a real ballbag. It stops you from doing things through self doubt or believing that the worst will happen, when in reality nothing can really go all that wrong. I am starting to embrace my fears as of late. Heading into Primark on Sundays, sitting at the front of lecture theatres, checking out scary movies, going on dates with strangers, wearing leather mini-skirts (because I think their cute, but I'm constantly on edge about looking a little schhlutty or flashing my gash), and jumping on stage with my pals to sing my heart out; bum notes and all! 

I am through with fear. She used to be my shit ex-girlfriend who made me sit in and watch reruns of The Big Bang on TV instead of heading out with my pals to throw shapes on the dance floor. She used to duct tape my mouth shut when people where asking me for suggestions, just in case I embarrassed her. She used to make me feel bad for leaving the house in knee-high socks, because of what others might think. Man, I am so glad to be out of that relationship!

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